Apple announced disappointing news this afternoon that due to efforts to ensure the iPhone would stay on target for a June release, Leopard would be delayed until October.
And right now the Mac community, as is its wont, is in full freak out mode.
“But, but…” stammered the Unofficial Apple Weblog’s Scott McNulty, “If Leopard is delayed, then Leopard is Vista. And if Leopard is Vista, then Apple is Microsoft!
“Aaaaaagh!” McNulty screamed as he hurled himself through the window of his office.
Fortunately, the window was open and McNulty’s office is on the first floor.
But the same reaction is being echoed all across the Mac community tonight.
“Steve! Why have you foresaken us?!” screamed an distraught Gus Mueller of Flying Meat, as he rent his garments. “WHY?!”
“We must have done something wrong,” said the MacUser‘s Dan Moren, his face ashen. “Steve is angry! We must offer sacrifice to appease him!
“Does anyone know any virgins?
“Anyone?
“No? Just one would do. One? C’mon. No one knows one virgin?! Really?”
While Moren scurried off to look for virgins, other members of Mac using community set about gathering up goats and first-born sons to offer to their apparently angry god.
But Scott Bourne of the Apple Phone Show offered another path for the bereaved.
“My brethren,” Bourne said, “Steve hath not forsaken thee. For, lo, he hath delivered unto us this day most joyous news! The iPhone cometh! In June, as has been foretold for lo these several weeks!
“As for Leopard, let he among you who has not missed a deadline cast the first stone.”
As a small stone flew from the gathered crowd outside his San Francisco condo striking him in the forehead, Bourne cried out in pain.
“Owwww!” the MacBreak Weekly panelist said, putting his hands to his head. “Don’t you know a rhetorical challenge when you hear one? Damn it. You weren’t really supposed to… supposed to throw a stone. Owww. That’s gonna… that’s gonna leave a mark! Crimeny.”
As of the posting of this story, a crowd of wailing Mac users has formed outside of Apple’s Cupertino headquarters seemingly intent on sitting there and whining until October.
First postie!
and secondies!
TWA or free.
Third.
And, crap.
FIVE again!
Did I mention that I hate to be six?
BTW Moltz, we need a reason for why you are late posting.
My dog ate it.
Hey, I have a virgin, but she’s not the sacrificial type. Sorry.
Hey! am I banned or something? I just submitted a knee-slappingly funny comment and it just vanished into the goddamn ether!
What gives?
It had hair shirts, and potsherds and ashes and other funny biblical shit. WordPress is quickly losing its cachet with me I can tell you.
I would like to point out only that “full freak out mode” includes very drunk girls taking off their shirts in the kitchen and shaking their perky bosoms to bad music played at a high volume. As I have not personally witnessed that, I must insist that Mac users are merely whining like hungry cats at a lesbian orgy.
…and teeth gnashing… lot’s of teeth gnashing!
Okay… I was feeling a little weepy, but I’m over it.
No whining from me.
Just ordered “Linux for Dummies” from Amazon.
I don’t want any software from Microsoft, even if Microsoft is Apple.
No whining, nosirree.
But I do reserve my right to pout.
And this report even bypasses the obvious joke about how Dan Moren should have no trouble finding virgins around MacUser.
Admirable.
Will these sacrifices be the usual stone altar, decorative knife or just toss them into a volcanoe. Or more gruesome such as a pit with a hellish monster from which there is no hope of escape life a board room with Steve Ballmer? Just asking
Man, I can’t wait for Halo 3! Jeez, it’s gonna be so awesome!
Me not believe that the delay was due to iPhone. Steve just couldn’t come up with any of the Top Secret features in time!
Hey, John Moltz, I don’t want to get political here, but as Imus recently found out, some comments are so WRONG that they aren’t funny.
“Apple is Microsoft” falls into that category. Ick!
“And this report even bypasses the obvious joke about how Dan Moren should have no trouble finding virgins around MacUser.
Admirable.”
Zing! Thank you, sir, may I have another?
How much is Gus charging for the renting of garments. I have a big date today and could use some fancy duds…
… I DO SO have a date!
I have a date too! Oh…wait…its just a fig. Never mind…
Did you know that the Leo Pard has a spot for every day of the year? Lift up the tail for leap years.
Apple IS Micro$oft. Both have a guy named “Steve” in charge. One is reletlessly hip. One is relentlessly annoying. You decide which is which.
When Leo Pard is released will it become OS 11? Or will they stick with the roman numeral thingie and call ist OS II? Will that be pronounced “OS aye-aye”? Couldn’t it also be pronounced “OS 2″?
I just noticed my post had a time stamp of 7:59 am.
Wouldn’t that put the server location somewhere in the Pacific Ocean between California and Hawaii?
Sorry Comp. Id. but it would be Xl, pronounced ex-eye so you’d better poke one out now.
The Apocalypse is Coming!!!…
Apple yesterday announced that Mac OS X 10.5, originally scheduled for a spring release, would be delayed until October, prompting mass hysteria and outrage among the Mac community. Oops, wrong link Here’s a more official one. I find this somewhat an…
The signs of worshiping the LORD instead of machines are promising.
At WWDC I’ll be the one wearing the t-shirt that says:
Apple was supposed to deliver a new OS, and all I got is this stupid phone!
Hi
Have some pasta.
I am not disapointed, 10.4.8, or X.IV.VIII as it is known in some circles, has served well.
EVERYONE WHINES ABOUT:
THE OS IS DELAYED
THE OS WAS RUSHED RELEASED AND NOW THERE ARE BUGS
THE OS HAS THESE USELESS FEATURES
THE OS DIDN’T INCLUDE THESE FEATURES
THE OS HAS THESE FEATURES AND THEY CAUSE CONFLICTS
THE OS COSTS TOO MUCH
THE OS SHOULD COST MORE
SOMEONE USED CAPS LOCK
SOMEONE DIDN’T USE PERFECT GRAMMAR, SPELLING, ETC
DID YOU SEE THAT MOVIE
IN THAT MOVIE
JUST YOU TRY AND STICK ME
YEAH SO COME ON.
THE APPLE STATEMENT IS REASONABLE.
CAP LOCKS
WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL
BANDWIDTH?
YOU CAN’T STICK ME.
THAT 100TH ZUNE SOLD ITEM IS FUNNEY
PHUQU
PHA QUE
PHK U
M ILF HUNTER?
WHAT THE?
Must still be spring break. Someone’s gone wild.
Nxxx
Forgive my innumeracy in dead language counting.
XI is correct. Mea culpa.
I got sidetracked by those vertical strokes of the number eleven. But vertical strokes are a posting for a different web site.
I feel so “Bevis and Butthead”.
The problem is that Steve didn’t have a big top secret surprise in the first place. Then last week while everyone was at a meeting, and went and ordered pizza for the whole company. Some guy came up to him and said, “this isn’t the surprise, right? Because this would be a pretty lame surprise if it was.” And Steve was all like, “no, no, this isn’t the surprise, I just wanted to get you pizza, the big super surprise is still coming, and believe me, it’s gonna be AWESOME. BOOM!” But of course, he didn’t have the surprise and he didn’t expect the one guy to call him out on it. So, basically, Leopard will be late, everyone at Apple got pizza, and Steve painted himself into a corner and has to come up with a really cool surprise.
YEAH, USE CAPS ALL TIMES.
THAT’LL SHOW ‘EM
TO HELL WITH THE INCREASED BANDWIDTH AND SERVER USE.
DAMN THAT BILL GATES.
THE CARS SITE IS HOSTED ON A WINDOWS SERVER.
MOM, WHERE’S MY CHEESEY PUFFS!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
Yeah right that no-one at an apple blog knows any virgins… Mirrors, people. What you are looking for can be found in a mirror.
ARE YOU STILL A VIRGIN IF YOU WANK OFF 5X DAILY?
TMI, Captin.
Too Much Information.
I’m rather disappointed that John chose to blame the dog rather than some remarkable new communications device. Or a home-improvement project.
“BTW Moltz, we need a reason for why you are late posting.”
“Life often presents tradeoffs, and in this case I’m sure I’ve made the right ones.”
Your the best!
if we cant find humor then what are we?
What are we?
Tumble-loggers
We’re what?
Tloggers
oh… What’s a tumblelog
Mini ZuD…
Captin Locks: You sure as hell are now. Get used to it.
Yo, tossers, get a life.
If a post is later than usual, tis not the end of the world.
Now go out and talk to a woman.
Here are a few sites for info on “women”
[http://www.seductioninsider.com/]
[http://www.sosuave.com/quick/default.htm]
Now leave me alone i’m preparing a late posting.
I AM ALREADY USED TO YOU BEING ONE.
Ach
I didn’t know these kind of informations were available…
Hey, I have a virgin goat I’m keeping for evil sacrifices. Does that count?
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh i saw your face