LONG LIVE THE MEGA-POST!
You should be able to view it again, but Masako had to shut off the comments at…
3821.
She had to delete one spam comment to get it viewable again (link).
Please, let’s hear a big round of applause for all of you who posted in the Mega-Post and kept it alive for a year and four months. Please use this comment thread to post your fondest memories of the post with the most…
the Mega-Post.
Yee-haaa!!!!
*lands with a thud on the ground after twisting ankle*
Were you twisting your ankle in an attempt at a triple Axel?
Scotty beamed me over. Geordi and Data were with me, but somehow they didn’t make it.
Nxxx, I just like the snap-crackle-pop sounds my ankle makes.
I was wondering where everyone went! I should have known you would have jumped over here. I add a little rabbit DNA into everyone and it is jump jump jump everywhere.
What about us spectacle wearers?
You implant rabbit DNA without any thought that we spectacle wearers are effectively blind whilst our spectacles regain a steady state following a jump.
It also affects my driving. These sudden bursts of jumping, causes acceleration like a fuel rail or being rammed as the brakes go on.
Nxxx do you own a Toyota? If you do not worry about it, no one will blame the DNA.
There’s this other problem as well, Del.
I’m too old to be thinking about constant sex.
Nxxx, you’re never too old.
At least that’s what I gather from those television adverts with folks sitting in tubs on a dock by a lake.
I have no problems with thinking about sex constantly, it is constant sex with which I have problems.
My problem is the inability to think constantly, period. However, I can think occasionally, if the conditions are favorable.
I think, sometimes, I am.
Which one of you cousins gave Green the special Teflon coated goalkeeper’s gloves?
Rather, I think he was distracted by the anatomically correct sexbot prototype streaking across the field. I know I was.
Technically it isn’t teflon and I have no idea who could have done it.
Meanwhile, back over here (wherever we are), this thread has been running for almost 5 years!
I think Moltz is trying to derail this never-ending comment saga by doing new posts. Darn him to heck!
Careful lad. Moltz ghost wrote ‘The Prince’.
So, September 5th we should have a Fifth Anniversary party in honor of the Giga-Post. I think it should be “sustainable” and “organic.” I’m not sure what that means, but I believe it involves growing our own food.
Excuse me while I go plant some wheat and hops.
Potential problem.
How can we be sure that none of us will be inorganic by the Fifth of September?
Suggest that November 5th would be more appropriate.
Dang that means all 80 % of all my creations are going to have to be scrapped…..
I’m organic, but not sure about sustainable. I just had some morning sustenence; does that count?
Morning sustenance? Is that another form of morning sickness?
Morning sustenance is inbound, morning sickness is outbound.
Steve,
It sounds as though you have experienced morning sickness.
This was after you met Del, wasn’t it?
Yes, the implants Del added (she said they were “personal biological upgrades”) itch like nobody’s business.
I have heard rumours that ‘The Alien’ was based on a true story, Now not so sure.
I know Alien vs. Predator was based on a true story. I don’t know about “The Alien”
“The Alien” was about a Canadian who sneaked over the border to avoid service in the military, only to discover that his counterfeit green card faded as he was swimming across Lake Huron. To avoid US immigration officials, he was forced to shave his head and hide out with a group of survivalists, who found his ability to imitate the call of a moose helpful in their hardscrabble attempts at subsistance. He could also paddle a mean canoe, if only they could get their hands on a mean canoe.
The canoes are mean too?
Damn, this country is rougher than I thought.
Mean?
You should see our coalition government’s Budget.
Have you seen the angry kayaks? If they were a bit more stable I’d cross them with the squittens.
I’ve seen the stuffed yacht, depressed dinghy, and a sociopathic inner tube, but that’s about it.
What, nary a raging rib?
Haven’t seen the angry kayaks, but jet skis are very obnoxious.
I tried a jet ski once, but couldn’t find the lift back up to the top of the river.
As that is a version of an Irish joke Ace, feel impelled to offer another.
How can you tell the Irish Navy submariners?
They’re the ones wearing the parachutes.
Apologies to my fellow Celts.
We have Polish jokes in MI.
How can you tell which sub belongs to Poland? It’s the one w/ the screen door installed.
Kerry jokes in Ireland and in Belgium, jokes about the other ones.
e.g. How do you keep a Dutchman/Walloon busy for hours?
Put him in a round room and tell him his chips/frites are in the corner.
*groan*
Of course, telling the average American to look for chips or frites would yield the same result…
We have potato chips & corn chips
Frites though make me think that someone misspelled frittatas or fritters.
That joke though is much more uncouth in the US. The way I’ve heard is How do you keep a busy for hours?
Put him in a round room and tell him to crap in a corner.
Something that appeared on the web following England’s exit from the World Cup:
Bloke goes into a brothel and says, “I want the ultimate humiliation.”
“Yes, sir” says the madam, “that will be £37-50.”
“£37-50? That’s cheap. What do I get for that?”
“An English football shirt.”
Cost of an English football shirt: £37-50
Being able to mock your national team: Priceless
Not my national team but don’t you Yanks get any ideas about beating Wales at Rugby.
What is the the quality of officiating in rugby?
Nxxx, if it’s possible, we Yanks might care less about rugby than we do about soccer/futbol.
Real man’s game, though not as manly as some of Gaelic Games. Gridiron guys wear padding, no need. Just play Rugby and get broken necks, dislocated limbs and digits, stamped on, spear tackled and given the hospital pass.
Mind you, your Alaskan hockey mum was scarier.
At least rugby doesn’t have floppers so it is better IMHO. I can’t stand watching soccer/futbol because of all the drama queens.
I think soccer floppers are guys who weren’t manly enough for footbal or hockey and Dad wouldn’t let them be in the drama club or school plays.
I can say hockey is one of my favorite sports. I also like Rugby and Arena Football, but those aren’t shown on basic TV.
I can’t find badminton or croquet on cable TV! I thought the whole point of cable TV was to make obscure, unpopular sports available to the pathetic people who like them! When will it be my turn?
We had a sports station that would play badminton though I never saw croquet on it. They would play all sorts of obscure sports, but it was a digital broadcast station not cable/satellite.
That station played Sepak Takraw and I got hooked on it big time. Then the station went off the air. So no more odd sports to watch.
Happy July 4th guys although I’ve forgotten what you are celebrating.
No vexation without recriminations!
Nice one Ace.
Genuine query.
Del referred to Arena Football. Googled it and it is gridiron as far as I can tell. Just re-marketing, or what?
Never seen it myself. I assumed it was American style football but in a closed cage like hockey with no out-of-bounds, like cage-fighting with cleats.
But I’m not current with sports — still trying to figure whether to watch World Cup, Wimbledon, or Tour de France. It would be much easier if they would simply combine them.
Le Grand Boucle, as Lance made a good start in the Prologue/
Wonder who will be the first disqualified for doping?
Opening for one of Del’s creations?
Arena football: I was fortunate enough a few years ago to share third row seats with a friend. Adrenaline overload – non-stop action with always something happening on field (game play, cheerleaders, etc.).
It’s American football, with some twists (besides being indoors): can play balls that hit the sideboards (still in play); receivers can run towards the line of scrimmage, instead of just parallel to it; and narrower goal posts (more challenging field goal attempts). The shorter field raises the scoring.
But the league has gone bankrupt and might be resuming play shortly.
And if you’re watching Le Tour in the U.S., make sure you watch (or record) the live morning broadcasts, so you get to enjoy commentary from Phil & Paul, instead of Bob Roll. I could listen to Phil & Paul call the morning traffic reports…
Like five-a-side soccer, short rugby, iron man triathlons and P-B-B in Audax terms.
How about all in wrestling/roller derby cross?
Pogo-stick polo?
Steve has the gist of it. Also the end of the game goes much faster than normal American Football. You can’t run the time off the clock by taking a knee as you have to make positive yardage to run time off the clock. Makes the end of the game more interesting.
“Taking a knee”?
Some kind of operation or cannibalism?
Nxxx, that’s the American football equivalent of those soccer pansies flopping around on the field like the fish in the end of Faith No More’s “Epic” video. The main difference being that the clock stops in American football when the knee of the player with the ball touches the ground, so the flopping is unnecessary.
Did you ever have the ‘straight arm’ tackle in gridiron?
Some of the rugby guys, so called ‘amateurs’ at the time, used to pad the inside of their arms and let opponents run on to their extended arms. Banned now of course, as I understand the ‘flying wedge’ is in your version of the game.
First, I cannot believe I was late to a discussion about rugby and hence let it get hi-jacked by a Taff (or are you a Gog, Nxxx?).
Second, I cannot believe Nxxx failed to mention Twenty20 cricket in his list of ‘not the real thing but still lip-smacking-thirst-quenching(etc.)’ mini-sports. Although he more than made up for it by recalling the happy Corinthian days of the gentlemanly ‘straight-arm’. Good times, eh Nxxx?
Third, a yank friend of mine used the phrase ‘taking a knee’ when we were in boxing training. Confused the hell out of me because I was transferring from Muay Thai where it means something very different. And very painful.
Finally, why has Moltz not posted again over on the main site. What a lazy bugger. Or is he in hibernation. Do Moltzes do that?
Do Moltzes bugger? Maybe you should ask Mrs. Moltz.
John Moltz has had a low profile for some time now, but lately it’s gone even lower, to the subterranean or submarine level. His other blogs have disappeared, and Moltz.net is virtually unnavigable.
I think maybe he has gone legit, perhaps working at a convenience store. Supporting a family can drive one to extremes.
To quote noted convenience store employee Dante Hicks: “I’m not even supposed to be here today!”
Well let’s hope John doesn’t shag a corpse in the bogs.
Again.
I worked at an inconvenience store for a while, but stopped going in because I couldn’t be bothered.
Sympathy, Ace.
I used to be apathetic but now I just don’t care.
If you give up being apathetic, does that make you pathetic?
If you had ever cared, it makes you repathetic.
I was going to join this thread and then meh…
If you have a lisp and everything is good, it’s copathetic.
Could it be psychopathic as well?
Drat! Now you’ve got me lithping. Thankth a lot.
Don’t worry, Ace.
People feel sorry for you and pat your head.
Makes it easier to steal their wallets or wathets, in your case.
I feel a deep and profound empathy for characters in 1980s American detective dramas.
Does that make me telepathetic?
Incidentally, does anyone else think that Apple’s ‘antenna testing facility’ looks an awful lot like Cerebro from the X-Men?
Could we finally have found the source of Our Lord Jobs’s ‘Reality Distortion Field’?
But it’s a testing facility; there’s not supposed to be any distortion in there.
Might be the safest place on Earth.
In ending a UK Channel 4 News programme, Jon Snow was seen with a bent wire clothes hanger attached to an iPhone 4, saying that it used to work on his Cortina.
If you don’t stray too far from your house, perhaps pulling a wagon with a femtocell connected to your land line is an option.
Or: “Is that a cell phone tower in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
I think you might need a pony or two to help with the wagon.
There’s a cell tower within 100 feet of my house (thought it would be coming down shortly after I moved in 4 years ago). On the upside, I get great reception. But no iPhone4 to test out the death grip on…
Cell reception in my area is so bad I don’t even own a cell phone
Are monks, nuns and prisoners allowed cell phones?
If not, why do they call them cell phones?
Prisoners: No
Monks and nuns: Not sure. Might break their vow of silence. Which on public transit, would be a welcome break from the inane chattering of idiots. Like if someone was reading these comments aloud. Which, come to think of it, might be quite humorous, if not downright confusing at times.
They call them cell phones because having one is like being in prison. Your captors (family, friends, work, etc) can demand your attention at any time and in any place.
But, Del, you can ignore calls or turn the thing off.
I just wish cell phone jamming equipment were legal here. I’d carry one with me on the bus to work and at the movies.
You are lucky then. For some reason some significant others (male or female) get completely over the top crazy when they can’t reach someone by cell. I hear it through the thin office walls all the time
I agree on cell jamming. If the put cell jamming equipment in movie theaters I might actually go.
Del,
What about genetically engineered critters? A howler monkey/dog cross would be very helpful as I have noticed dogs don’t bark if you give them a bone.
I am most envious of your movie theatres. We have theatres with moving stages but not theatres that move, with the exception of a one man theatre based on a motorcycle and sidecar and a group that travel and play on a river boat.
Usage report:
I probably get or make five or six calls per week on my iPhone. I never text or chat or tweet. I do use it for email, however.
I watch on average about eight or nine hours of television per week, and most of that consists of reruns of Star Trek: The next Generation, which I didn’t see when it first aired.
I use my Mac too much, and for too many things.
Without electricity I would survive but be very bored. Is anybody working on a wood-fired computer? Because I might need a backup when civilzation collapses.
What do you mean, when?
Any more the only thing I watch regularly on the boob tube is wipeout. Other than that I sometimes watch something streaming via Netflix.
Why do you need an steam fired computer? Why not use on of the electric eel experiments to keep things charged.
The electric eels keep dying on me, probably because of their diet. What should I be feeding them?
Ace,
Stop attempting to recharge them.
Damned non-recyclable, non-rechargeable electric eels!
Feed ‘em currents, Ace.
Hey, I’m not Anonymous.
I’m me.
Oh . . . ooopsy. Forgot to log on after getting iMac back with a fixed hard drive.
What a berk.
Maybe I should have stayed anonymous?
Yay, CARS is back! And I’m the only one that knows or cares!
Everyone: thank you for your advice. I find all this modern electrical technology quite shocking.