Apple introduced the iPod nano today, a micro-slim flash-based player that raises the “wow” factor bar for all electronic gadgets.
While the technical specifications of the iPod nano are impressive, it is a non-technical feature that is most interesting. Recognizing a growing need among gadget consumers, the company decided to add a coolness expiration date to each iPod nano.
“Now users will know when their iPods are no longer the hottest new item,” said Apple Senior Vice President of the iPod division Jon Rubinstein.
“The date does not necessarily reflect the specific date when a new product superseding the nano will be announced, it’s just the date when your product buzz wears out.”
“This kind of thing will be great for me,” said iPod mini owner and Swarthmore junior Jason Reed. “Now I’ll know when I should switch from carrying my iPod out in the open to putting it in the pocket of my backpack.
“I got a rep to keep up with the ladies,” Reed added, raising his eyebrows and nodding.
“Mmm-hmm. Yep. The lovely ladies of Swarthmore. Boy howdy. Tell you what. Yowza. Yessir.”
Looking around at the dearth of babes around him, Reed let out a sigh and put his iPod mini away.
“Um… well, actually, I just got here. I transfered from Middlebury. But I am hopeful that one day I will have a rep to keep up with the lovely ladies of Swarthmore.
“Have you seen any, by the way? I thought for sure they’d all be hanging out here at the rec center, but I’m not gettin’ any action.”
Could it be?
First post for me!
SECOND!!! alephone!!!
third!!!
WTF?!? THIRD?!? WHY AM I YELLING?!? AM I ON AOL?!?
nope, just a random jackass…
Okay, shameful fifth…
6th
Hey, Reed is my first name!
Well, “Reid” is my first name, but close enough.
I got in a CARS article!
SCORE!!
OK, I think my coolness expiration date was yesterday.
Or may a few years ago…
There are no ladies at Swarthmore. Just effeminate men and hairy hippy females.
Ugh. Why did I ever come here.
Setting up for…
11
Effeminate men with capes, and pear shaped women.
For us investors, it would be more helpful to know when a particular iPod is ripe for appraisal at Antiques Road Show.
Hey, my sister goes to Swarthmore! Not my effeminate, hairy brother, mind you. My sister!
Good for the tiny hand freaks.
The nano features an “Apple Click Wheel” this is a blatant patent outrage. And I’ve got pencils thinner than it, a blatant trade descriptions infringement.
What month is the 15th?
Cripes! I got a jug of milk that expired later than the coolness of my iPod.
Oh wait, hang on, I gotta call here…
ITS Gwen Stafani!!!!
Uh, no, no, its my ROKR playing that Hey Baby song again. Nevermind :sigh:
You are back, recovered from you gruelling Labor Day holiday schedule of climbing Mount Everest twice with four tons of iPods on your back, so let’s hear it again
MOLTZ FOR THE SUPREME COURT.
Oh, and far less important, noontennnnnf.
You know what’s cool? Cricket! And here is the latest from England vs Australia:
Australia leg-spinner Shane Warne took three quick wickets to wipe out England’s rapid start on day one of the deciding Ashes Test at The Oval.
England’s openers put on 82 runs in 17 overs before Warne (3-27) removed Marcus Trescothick (43) and Michael Vaughan to catches, and Ian Bell lbw.
The hosts, looking for their first Ashes win for 19 years, went to lunch 115-3 after winning the toss.
Andrew Strauss was in fine touch, reaching 42 not out with seven fours.
Glenn McGrath returned for Australia after recovering from an elbow injury, while Paul Collingwood replaced the injured Simon Jones for the hosts.
The jam-packed Oval crowd, buzzing with anticipation, cheered England skipper Michael Vaughan as if he had hit a century when he won the toss and batted on a glorious pitch.
McGrath’s first deliveries to both Trescothick and Strauss were bouncers, a clear sign that Australia would be aggressive in their bid to retain the Ashes.
But Trescothick settled nerves with a couple of leg-side fours off Brett Lee past square, and if anything Australia overdid the short-pitched tactic.
Indeed, when the ball was pitched up a breakthrough looked more likely – Lee had a decent lbw appeal for Trescothick’s wicket turned down and saw a thick edge from the same man fly between slip and gully.
As England grew in confidence, so did the strokeplay.
Trescothick feasted on some errant Lee bowling for successive boundaries, and Strauss drove confidently for two more fours during the fast bowler’s next over.
Even the normally miserly McGrath was not immune from England’s belligerence, Strauss helping himself to consecutive fours on either side of the wicket.
Ricky Ponting turned to Warne after 13 overs, as good an indication as any of England’s ease at the crease.
The leg-spinner beat Strauss’s bat on one occasion, but he was twice spanked to the boundary as England went to drinks on 70-0 – with 13 boundaries on the scorecard.
Shaun Tait was doing little at the Pavilion End and, inevitably, it was Warne who made the breakthrough when Trescothick edged a flighty ball to Matthew Hayden, who took a sharp catch low to his left.
McGrath was called back to action with Vaughan new at the crease, but the unerring accuracy that usually marks his bowling was missing, perhaps due to a lack of match fitness.
The England skipper showed no signs of early tension anyway, driving and pulling Warne for two boundaries in three balls.
Strauss soon brought up England’s 100 with a lovely cut shot off McGrath that sped past point for four.
But Warne, in his last Test on English soil, was again to the fore as Vaughan (11) spooned a simple chance to Michael Clarke at mid-wicket and tossed his wicket away.
Bell then planted his foot in front of the stumps and was trapped lbw for a duck, handing Warne his 31st wicket of the series and Australia optimism where 20 minutes previously there was none.
I just checked, and MY coolness expiration is August 13, 1990.
Cool…
Heeeeyyy- wait a second!!!!
How’d that happen?
moo
Neither of my ‘Pods has an expiration date, therefore their coolness is eternal!
mmm pear shaped women
My coolness tag says “Not equipped.”
I suppose I should be disappointed, but it’s what I expected, really.
It was, uh, supposed to say “Refrigerate after opening” under the expiration date too. Seems like someone missed that. See keeping it in the fridge will ensure that it remains cool up to the expiration date. Tests are underway to see if doing that will actually exend the expiration date but we doubt it. Cool is only cool because not everyone gets to do it.
hell, what do I know about cool? I’ve been stuck in this research facility for so long the pear-shaped, hairy women are sounding pretty good. Wanna know what I’m wearin’? Oh yea, I tole you in the last post. haven’t changed yet.
What is a decent size for a grown man’s hands to be? I mean, what *REALLY* is an average size? Not those photoshopped things that you see on websites. Do the pear-shaped women mind a man with slightly smaller than average hands? I hope not.
Yea, I went to Swarthmore. So the hell what? No girlfriend through high school. So? And the rumors are not true, I did NOT take my little brother to the senior prom in a dress. Look at the pictures again idiot, could my little brother have a mustache THAT DARK at 14?! Duh! Wish we had pear-shaped girls when I went there. There were hairy though. Plenty hairy. Not very ‘woman’ though.
Gotta’ go. Time to take the temp of the black iPod nano in the fridge again. I have a Masters degree in science and I’m temping consumer electronics stored in Hotpoint fridges. Sheesh. I am NOT a loser either! I moved out of my parents basement a MONTH ago. Weeny. Gosh.
Ahnyer Keester,
As a scientist, you will be able to help me with a question that has troubled me since childhood in 19Censored.
Why call a fridge Hotpoint?
1) Remove that cheap plastic grill thingy that keeps falling off the bottom of the fridge.
2) Stick you hand in there and read pretty far back.
3) Near the compressor is a coil, if you can find it, grab it and hang on to it for as long as you can.
4) You have just found the Hot point.
Also, the fridge is the hot place to hang out lookin for them pear-shaped babes! I mean, the place is, well, HOT! They’re all over the, um, place. Uh, there.
It is even better than Swarthmore and Middlebury COMBINED! I met a lady there who was way into ST:TOS and hated ST:E as much as I did. Oh, did we hit it off, if you know what I mean. Pon Farr baby, Pon Farr.
See, the place is HOT! There are just a plethora of reasons. A myriad of them.
Mr. Hogan, or if I can call you Paul. Your point is well made.
Both cricket and your posts are loathesome. zzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Oh and Ahnyer Keester (yeah, I get it, hmph), you’re trying way to hard. How bout some rest eh?
Mr. Hogan, or if I can call you Paul. Your point is well made.
Both cricket and your posts are loathesome. zzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Oh and Ahnyer Keester (yeah, I get it, hmph), you’re trying way to hard. How bout some rest eh?
Ahnyer Keester,
Thanks. Found it. Any tips for typing with your nose?
Stan, you’re repeating yourself repeating yourselves.
Oh, and bite me.
Network error my arse! Thats a double post right there…FOUL!
Nope ficko, you seem to be doing fine. Carry on.
Stan, you’re repeating yourself repeating yourselves.
Oh, and bite me.
Who wants pie?
Just tried to watch Saint Steve’s presentation to us, the great unwashed, but was not worthy of it.
Hey, maybe the site is busy or my broadband feed is a bit slow. Anyone know where Saint Steve Holy Water is available?
I think part of the reason the cricket posts go unappreciated is that many CARS readers aren’t familiar with the rules. I hope to begin correcting that with this first of many installments summarizing the game and its finer points:
Description du terrain et des positions
Le cricket se joue entre deux équipes de onze joueurs, sur un terrain ovale généralement en gazon, qui mesure 135 mètres sur 150. Les équipes sont normalement composées de joueurs ayant des qualités complémentaires : certains sont plutôt des batteurs, d’autres plutôt des lanceurs, certains sont à l’aise dans les deux positions. Enfin, le gardien qui se trouve derrière le guichet, avec un équipement de protection spécial, est souvent un joueur à part.
Au centre du terrain, on trouve une surface rectangulaire, dont l’herbe est coupée plus court. C’est le wicket, ou encore square ou pitch. À chaque extrémité du pitch se trouve un groupe de trois piquets de bois (stumps), suffisamment rapprochés les uns des autres pour que la balle ne puisse pas passer entre eux. Les piquets sont surmontés de deux témoins (bails). L’ensemble forme un guichet (wicket, à ne pas confondre avec le mot synonyme de pitch). La distance entre les deux guichets est généralement de 22 yards (une vingtaine de mètres). Le pitch est dessiné au sol par des lignes de craies (creases). Une ligne de 4 pieds (1m30) de long est tracée devant les guichets, c’est la popping crease, territoire sûr pour le batteur, équivalent de la base au base-ball.
Le jeu est arbitré par deux arbitres (umpires). Le premier se tient derrière le guichet d’où le lanceur joue (fielding side), l’autre se tient à une vingtaine de mètres, à angle droit par rapport à l’autre guichet. Ils peuvent faire appel à un troisième arbitre qui vérifie le déroulement de jeu grâce à une caméra couplée à un magnétoscope.
I think part of the reason the cricket posts go unappreciated is that the clown who posts them is unfamiliar with the rules of netiquette. I hope to begin correcting that by doing to him what he hates most of all… ignoring him and the lame “paste it, post it, look at me; I’m making believe I like cricket” attempts. Good day, pretend limey…
s’il vous plaît no plus de cricket ou je vous frapperai avec une batte!!!! oui, une batte!
(Said with bad fake French accent)
How you English say, I one more time unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window dresser.
I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of secondhand electric-donkey bottom biters!
I burst my pimples and you and call your door-opening request a silly thing.
You tiny-brained wipers of other people’s bottoms!
Depart at this time and cut the approaching or we fire arrows into your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already!
Now remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger folk!
And, if you think you got a nasty taunting this time, you ain’t heard nothing yet, daffy English “kniggits”!
I, for one, like the cricket posts.
You know, Swarthmore College doesn’t have a “rec center.”
p.s. I’m not the cricket poster, I save that for my own horrid piece of the cyber pie.
For those of you interested (I know Del loves the game now) Vince has one final post to make on the 5th test and regardless of the result Australia will win. Matty will score 400+ supported by Justy (299*). Ponto declares at 753/1. England collapse in their 2nd dig (13 all out).
Where, am I, is this the i-n-t-e-r-n-e-t? What a letdown…
I don’t see what the big deal is about cricket. It’s just two teams of men trying to see who can make the most noise by rubbing their legs together.
iBode,
Can you lend me a couple of coconut shells? Mine need re-shoeing.
Jacques,
You need to use Cajun and Creole French. Cretin.
iBode,
You looking for a slapping? Leave my boy alone.
Ah HA!
If the iPod nano is “impossibly small” as mister Jobs claims, how is it possible that it even exists?
Just seen Nano launch, Motorola and Apple bosses there. No one asked why don’t Motorola Bluetooth phones and Mac Bluetooth computers sync? CARS should start a rumour that they do. Okay, I’m bitter.
nxxx, I’m out right now, but you could get some swallows to bring you some.
“No one asked why don’t Motorola Bluetooth phones and Mac Bluetooth computers sync? ”
That’s an excellent question. I’m a Siemens man myself. Wait, let me rephrase that . . . .
It’s been quite the Arthurian week, what with SMUG and Uther Pendragon showing up and the Grail.
The line that’s always stuck with me is when the scene opens with Bedevere saying:
“And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be
banana-shaped.”
I’ve always wondered what “that” was.
Finally…we’ve broke the Mega-Post
Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 8388608 bytes exhausted (tried to allocate 50 bytes) in /home/www/crazyapplerumors/cgi-bin/mt/php/extlib/ezsql/ezsql_mysql.php on line 338
I think the digging has exhausted it.
Streetrabbit,
Thanks for bringing that to my attention. Job for Moltz to research, especially as he’ll be bored at the Supreme Court.
Whatever he does he has to act quickly. The absence of the spammer flytrap that the Mega-Post was is already starting to have an effect on the overall health of the Internet. It’s only a matter of time before they find their way here.
Heaven help us all.
Looks like it broke the rest of CARS, too! Where’s Thursday’s post? Oooh, how ’bout some more ‘postrophes?
Being a lazy git, was rechecking the site after doing some excel files (spit) for the warden and realised we were on the wrong track.
Not
MOLTZ FOR THE SUPREME COURT
but
MOLTZ FOR JOB!
nuttin wrong wit da mega post, man
Yes there is, it is evidently not PERFECT ENOUGH for Masako.
And all this time I thought she was our friend…
MARK
wtf? a coolness expiation date, is there something wrong with u?
How come my plaid sweater vest didn’t come with a coolness expiry date????
#205! Yeah babby, math rooles!